Royal Colors and Muted Backgrounds
by UchiQueen
Summary: Murasakibara knew he made a mistake, he knew it the second the words flew out of his mouth. How it weighed on him and how it effected him, well, only the seemingly childish giant truly knew.. [I own nothing. Dates from their Teiko days straight into the current manga chapters.]
1. Chapter 1

**Royal Colors and Muted Backgrounds**

* * *

Chapter One - Mistake

* * *

_It's not my fault._

At least, that was what Murasakibara wanted to say, to shout from the top of his lungs. Yet he couldn't bring himself to, not knowing what he had done. He was a sinner, he had done wrong by the man that cared most for him.

It hurt to look at him, it hurt to see them..

* * *

_Those eyes..!_

They mocked him, mocked his singular mistake. He wanted a way to fix it, a way to go back, any way to change the way he said what he had. He hadn't meant to call him weak and he hadn't wanted this. If anything, he had wanted something just opposite of this..

This version of the smaller man, hardened and harsh. Not just his commander, but his ruler, absolute.

* * *

_Now.. There's no going back.._

He made clumsy and stupid promises of obedience, loyalty. He pleaded, even begged, for a piece of the man that he'd so unwittingly erased. He did everything commanded to him, not a complaint to be heard, always taking it a step or two further.

It was futile, as was disobeying the emperor, but he tried. Painstakingly and uselessly, for the first time in his life. Murasakibara tried and tried for something uncertain..

* * *

_I'll wait.._

He had lost, not the battle, but the entire war. This was unknown to all but him, and the man some would call his master, as it had been a silent one. He could not even bring himself to call or to text the man. He had no right, no grounds, he simply obeyed his final orders and waited.

A name always on his lips, a burden always on his board shoulders, he waited. Yet, he knew, it was futile.

* * *

_I lost.. Our last connection.. I lost it.._

He cried, possibly for the first time in close to a year, and cried harshly.

Himuro could not understand why his sobs sounded so heartbroken, wretched. It was great difficultly that the team tried to fix it. They tried, yes, but to no avail. It was the first time they'd seen such a pure emotion from their childish center, and it hurt more than it astounded them.

How could others mend a heart that one had broken with their own two hands, no, lips..?

* * *

_Mido-chin.. I'm sorry, so sorry.. This is my fault as well.._

He felt, rather than saw, a pair of familiar mismatched eyes sweep over him as the body they were attached to turned. The gaze seemed even colder than during Teiko, and Murasakibara found the bag of chips he'd been holding had suddenly turned to sand. He could almost hear him commenting on the fact that he was a useless and disregarded pawn now. He knew he was no longer Atsushi to his Aka-chin, and the thought almost killed him..

It was worse than the first time, honestly, as Murasakibara seemed to have lost the will to eat and there was no one to command he do so..

* * *

_I wish.. I don't know what to wish exactly.. Just, give **him** back.._

He clutched at the railing as the game progressed, swallowing thickly as he finally watched his former captain play. He hated the other center, he wanted to crush him, but he couldn't understand exactly why. Was it the fact that it should have been him out there, or was the fact that he was making it difficult for Kuroko to win..?

Perhaps it was a combination of the two, as Murasakibara soon found himself being pulled forcibly away by a worried Himuro. Akashi had scored and the railing had become bent, suspiciously, around the same time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Royal Colors and Muted Backgrounds**

* * *

Chapter Two - Absolute

* * *

_Not shock, but pain, ah.._

Akashi looked down on the defeated giant, taking in his expression with his new mismatched eyes. It was strange indeed how half of Akashi reveled in the fact that Atsushi was making this expression for him and that the other was horrified that he'd caused him so much pain.

However, it was too late for any of these thoughts as he had already flipped the switch.

* * *

_Why is he avoiding me..?_

Perhaps it was pent-up frustration that caused Akashi to stay behind and help his center clean up after practice. Perhaps it was curiosity, but as he stared at the purple-haired giant's back, he found no answers as to why the man wouldn't look at him.

"Atsushi." He called, watching as the center reacted on instinct, turning and looking straight him straight in the eyes. Only to freeze and look away a moment later, guilt seeping into usually blank expression.

"Hai, Aka-chin?"

"Stop looking at me like that, I'm not dead." He accompanied that statement with a rather soft kick to the shin, refusing to look at hardheaded giant until he got over himself.

* * *

_Again? This is beginning to get old.._

Akashi knew what he was doing, he knew too damned well. He could see him out of the corner of his eye, mopping the floor as instructed and then waxing it. That was good, obviously, but so out of character for the lazy man. The red-head sighed and closed his eyes, focusing on the schedule he had to finish typing up. "Atsushi, when you're done, we'll go get you some snacks."

Perhaps it was stupid of him to lead on the giant, but he was useful. Not that Akashi would admit to growing fond of a mere pawn.

* * *

_Separation__ is for the best, otherwise how will they grow..?_

Akashi unconsciously checked his phone for the fifth time that day, as if waiting for a specific childish giant to call or text him and ask where he'd left his snack money. He was glad, of course, that he had free time to head to the gym more often and care for him. However, he found himself unable to move from the spot on his bed, his phone clutched in his rigid hands.

He was always flawless at following orders, and it seemed this was no different, but Akashi found himself unable to accept it. He couldn't ask if the giant was alright, it wasn't in his nature, and he had almost forbidden Atsushi from informing him, himself..

* * *

_He lost.. He's crying.. Atsushi is.. It's because of you.._

His face was expressionless, and his body language was as flawlessly contained as ever, but somewhere deep within him. His other half was howling and crying, it was the first time in nearly a year, he noted, that the more submissive side had truly surfaced. He knew it was because of Atsushi, and the guilt that he housed..

However, as he turned to Midorima and smiled, he ignored that side of him. There was no time for such things..

* * *

_I am just so tired of losing pawns.. That's all this feeling is.. That's it._

He barely bowed to the other team, a formality that he grew tired of, after the game. His gaze lingered on Midorima for less than a moment, his dear broken knight truly was growing boring now..

However, as his hardened and poisoned gaze fell on Atsushi, he couldn't help that the venom transferred over. Kuso, it was terrible that he could see the center drop the crushed chips he'd been holding. Why could he predict his every move..!? It wasn't as if he had a connection to him anymore.

* * *

_Why is Kiyoshi still an issue..!? Atsushi wouldn't have had a..-_

Akashi cursed himself internally, plowing forward and scoring in less than five seconds. Focus, Seijuro, focus, this is a high school game and the team is different. Besides, he watched as his center quite capably handled the Iron Heart.

He was simply over thinking things. Akashi had to make due with the pieces he'd given given himself, and besides, he'd known that no one could match Atsushi.

* * *

_He isn't betraying me.. It's because of the Americans, that's it.. Besides, why would I care.._

He wasn't quite as happy as he should have been at half time, with the score. For as he had glanced around at the audience, he found that Atsushi, who had been forever loyal to him, was on Kuroko's side of the court.

There was no way that his.. That the center didn't realize where he was standing, simply no way, but then again, there was no way he would abandon him either.. Right?


End file.
